Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Adjusting to A Dogless Life

It has finally happened.  I've been able to talk about my dogs crossing without tears.  I could say I'm not sure how to feel about this but honestly, I am a bit relieved.  Yes, relieved because I am one step closer to being ready to have a new dog come into my life.  I am a dog person and frankly lost without a sweet pup in my house.  This is my first dogless period, that will last more than nine months(I think), in 15 years.

Sure there are things I don't have to worry about like baths, dog food, medicine, vet visits but there also isn't a pup to reach over and pet.  I don't have anyone to greet me as I come home.  Let me assure you, it's those mindless every day things that hurt the most.  Then there is my daughter and her need for a dog.  If you think I am lonely, there isn't a day that goes by that the longing for Drake isn't on display.  She talks of him lovingly and often.  I think her willingness to talk about Drake has helped the healing along.  Both kids stop just about every dog owner they can to see if they can love the dog.

I've refrained from even entertaining the idea of a new dog.  We still need time to heal and get accustomed to not having one.  I don't want the decision to get a new dog come from a need to just have a dog in my house.  I want it to come from being at the right time and place for it.  I also don't want to introduce a dog to our lifestyle as it is.  We were fortunate that our dogs were good at travel but a new dog might not be.  If we got a dog that wasn't good at travel, it would stress everyone out trying to drag them along.

So for now, I guess I am still adjusting to a dogless life but the healing has begun.

2 comments:

  1. Oh Nicki - this was a beautiful post and I think you're such a lovely person. It broke my heart in a way reading it but it was also very inspiring. As Honey is my first dog, I haven't gone through any of such emotions yet and am not looking forward to the day - but I can understand a lot of what you're saying.

    I also think it's very admirable of you not to rush into getting another dog immediately, just to "fill the hole". I meet so many people who do that and while it's not wrong in any way - and I'm sure they love their new dog just as much - I do sometimes think it would have been better if they let things settle, take a bit of time after they lose their older dog - instead of rushing out just to plug the emotional hole. It's also very kind of you to consider the new dog's needs first, with regards to fitting in with your current lifestyle.

    Perhaps you could foster for a while first? I don't know if that would work with your living arrangement. Or perhaps volunteer to help walk dogs at a rescue shelter. Those are all ways to get a "dog fix" if it's not the right time to adopt one into your family yet.

    By the way, thank you also for your lovely email about blogging and commenting - I so agreed with everything you said. To be honest with you, the kind of thing you complained about is one of the reasons I left all the online forums/groups I used to be a part of - because I got so sick of all the judgemental/patronising attitudes and the way people seemed to think that just because they could hide behind an online nickname, they could forget all about courtesy and consideration and just basic politeness when talking to others online.

    Anyway, I hope the healing continues for you and look forward to the day when you introduce us to the new canine member of your family! :-)

    Hsin-Yi

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  2. I had a friend give me a cautionary tale of running out to replace a dog. She ended up with FIVE Chihuahuas. That's right FIVE. Believe or not, you also helped. I had read all your posts about Lemon and how you felt when getting Muesli. Muesli is not Lemon. You can't replace what is lost but when the time is right you can get a new pet to love.

    Our lifestyle is not conductive to too much as far as the pet fix goes. We just talk to alot of people with dogs. Honestly, between the homeschooling of two kids, having to go out every three or so days to do laundry, and just trying to have time for my stuff I can't imagine having the time to do much volunteering. Plus I am a sucker. I'd see that one poor pitiful dog and we'd be dog owners again. I am convinced that when the time is right and the circumstance are right it will happen.

    Just so you know, when Honey's time does come, and I hope it is years...years.. years away, I will be here for you. Her blog has helped with the dog fix too.....

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